I have been kinda sick lately. Mostly it was like a weak flu. You know, kinda blah, a little sore, and kinda weak. As usual my sinuses are draining almost like continuous alergies at work. I also have a cough.
Coughing for me is, well, kind of a big deal. It is always a big deal, not just when I am sick, because it leads to other things. I cough to the point of a gag reflex kicking in and I have what I kinda consider a fear of throwing up and it is just getting worse the older I get. For me, vomiting is full body torture, and when it is bad, it is really bad. Most of the time I will be left exhausted after the effort. I will be sore for days, and short of breath for days longer. During the process it feels like my jaw is trying to unhinge so everything can get out faster. Then the next few days it hurts to eat because my jaw muscles have all been pulled. I tend to bust tons of blood vessels on my face, especially under my eyes. This causes my face to be a lot more sensitive and the idea of shaving is right out the window. Taking a blade to what already looks like a bloody mess does not strike me as appealing. My eyes also get puffy and I will have some blood under my eyelids.
Now, for a minute, lets pretend I am not actually physically suffering right now and that the point of this post was not to focus on the fact that I am sick right now. Stopping and thinking about being sick leads me in two directions. The first being, I am terribly vain. I know I don't dress well, I am overweight, and I don't like shaving, but that is all part of my 'look'. That is just who I am and I never want to put on a front to be something else. But I like my eyes, and I hate what happens to them. None of this affects my vision or causes additional headaches, but I just hate the way I look because it is detracting from the one aspect of how I look that I think is the best.
The second thing I think about is my great amount of appreciation. Erin does her best to take care of me. I really am a baby when I get sick and she is incredibly patient. Life without her really would not be worth the effort.
