I know I have mentioned the level of paranoia about people watching me that I have. If not, let us just say that it is probably the single most selfdestructive quality I have and, in its own way, is the cause of most of my other selfdestructive qualities. Anyways, we will set that aside for a moment and simply state that if there is a way that I could potentially be watched, I think I am. In my mind I build scenarios about what the people watching me are either thinking or looking for as they are watching. I guess what it comes down to is being told all my life that God and Santa are watching me to see if I am touching myself, why wouldn't anyone else?
Now put that horrible visual out of your head, this post is about me doing dishes. Dishes are my job. The wife does not touch them unless she is either making tea or being served a meal (that I probably cooked), and that is fine because I make her do laundry. I also tend to treat dishes like she does laundry, wait until either there is nothing clean or its the weekend to do it. This means, of course, there are enough dishes to take a solid hour or two to wash (no dishwasher), and hating silence, I drag in my laptop and listen to podcasts. The only place to set the laptop is right under the only window in the room, and even though it is only audio, I find myself turning and looking at the laptop almost anytime something is laugh out loud funny. I also walk over to pause the recordings when I leave the room.
Now if you combine the "everybody is watching" with "turning and laughing" I just get this image of someone sitting a block or two away peering through the window with a telephoto lens watching me laugh at the wall and periodically walk over and poke it before walking away.
