It is the end of the school year and I have a ton of mixed feelings about it.
This is the first year in which on of my close friends is leaving. I also have felt the cold heavy reality that it will be me sitting their having to move on and make decisions on what I will do and what I can do. I've always felt that people grow up, go to school, and learn things so that one day they may benefit the world that they were brought into. I, however, feel as though I won't be able to benefit the world. I feel that my efforts to achieve this are nothing but a joke and that I should just loss myself in the video game world that I am so fond of. I understand that I should do things that interest me but those things, even the ones that my be useful, don't seem to fill the niche that I want to fill. I guess I'm just afraid to try to help without something to back me up. No matter what it is I have to double check everything and I can't always do that.
I guess this is what happens when you lead an oblivious life, or if you feel everything is pointless. People making a living believing in shit instead of having something to back it up, causing problems in a world that already has too many of them.
The last problem I have with going out into the world is that it's not concrete. Nothing is black and white, everything is a shade of grey. Anthropophobia, Apeirophobia, Atychiphobia, Catagelophobia, Decidophobia, Doxophobia, Erotophobia, Hypengyophobia, Kakorrhaphiophobia, Mastigophobia, Metathesiophobia, Mythophobia, Philophobia, Polyphobia, Socialphobia.