No clue as to why, but I got a craveing for nachos, lots of cheese, taco meat, and salsa. Kinda like a taco salad without the healthy stuff, but since we did not have nachos or salsa (figured out the salsa thing halfway through preperation), I substatuted spaghetti and ludacris amounts of spices. So anyways, here we go:
- Toss some water on to boil, add some salt for a hotter boil, and some vegetable oil to keep it from bubbling over.
- Grab a hambuger...if you are lame like us, you have a box of JTM premade goodness...and start it frying. Use a spatula to break it up as you go so you get little bits of meat.
- While you are taking the hamburger that you bought premade into patties and turning it into ground meat that you would have gotten if you HADN'T bought the prefab ones, starting pushing some thoughts into your head: the grill, chili, mexican food, spicy, and so on. This is important so run with it.
- Take a dime size of spaghetti, break it into forths, and toss it in your happy, boiling water. We have the whole wheat angle hair variety, which cooks fairly quickly. This has more of a brown color that the aged yellow normal pasta has. Remember whole wheat = healthy, and we only have a couple of more steps to kill that.
- Alright, your meat should be almost done now. Now bring the thoughts of the grill and other stuff back and go through your spice cabinet (you do have one, right?) and pull out all the spices that you associate with those words. I don't know about you, but I came up with: Barbeque seasoning, chili powder, crushed red pepper, and worcestershire sauce. Notice that these are mostly red, I thing that had to do witht he fact that I had been thinking salsa but then found out we did not have any. Anyways, add in semi-large quantities. The goal here is to get it to look bloody as hell. I don't really know why that is the goal, but it is, deal with it. Let this cook some more. This is also why we made sure to have the meat almost done before we start so we don't get confused and eat raw meat...raw meat is bad.
- Right before you drain the spaghetti, toss an handful of shreaded cheese on the meat. I prefer sharp cheddar, but anything in an orangish-yellow color will do. Color is important, we want to use warm colors. Besides, those white and cream colored cheeses are pussy cheeses...ok, it is late, I have no idea what that means. Now drain you pasta.
- Ok, now just add everything together, mix well, and marvel at the mix of colors and textures. If all goes well, you will have this lumpy blood red thick "liquid" with yellowish mats of hair all clinging to brown veins. It should be both beautiful and mildly sickening at the same time.
- Grab something that is both carbonated and high in sugar and enjoy. And if the food was more than "mildly" sickening, think about dimming the lights or eating in a dark room.
And the sad part about this, other than the fact that it was what I had tonight, is that it is still better for you than most fast food.
