I was discussing this with the wife earlier, and decided that I wanted to share it here as well. I have a particularly interesting way at looking at shows I no longer care to watch or don't want to exist.
The new Star Trek movie: I did my best to leave all my doubts at the door and accept what everyone with an interenet connection was saying, that it was the most awesome thing since Jesus, mounted on a raptor of course, first sliced bread, and then toasted that bread with some cheese using the fire coming from the raptor's mouth thus inventing sliced bread, toast, and grilled cheese...a trifecta, a trinity, a holy trinity if you will. But no, I knew the moment the ship came into view and the Captain said they were Romulans that the movie was going to piss me off for the next 2 hours. I knew they were going for a consequences will never be the same kinda bs routine so that they could make all new sexy stories. Even with as annoyed as I would be that everything canon was being shunted out the door for writers too lazy to do any sort of research, I was willing to accept it. But the reality changing event had not happened yet and they messed up. Yes, I do realize what I am saying here: I might have well accepted the movie if they hadn't known who the attackers were...because they shouldn't have known who they were. I still would have had to get past the bad plot, the needless explosions on a level that made Michael Bay think it was overdone, and the constant lens flares that were trying to hypnotize me into not realizing that movie was basically taking a dump on Gene's figurative tombstone.
So, in my version of the movie, after the credits, William Shatner wakes up from sleep, flips on the lamp to his left and starts talking about his crazy dream only to have Leonard Nimoy tell him to go back to bed (Yes, the Newhart Ending).
Most of the rest are simpler.
Fringe [I W] (ironically, another JJ Abrams show...about an alternate reality and tons of lens flares): The final episode in season 2, there is a big explosion and the main character is switched for her alternate reality self. In my version the big explosion killed everyone, including the guy who edits in all the lens flares in JJ's stuff.
Human Target [I W]: This was more of a distraction to fill time than a show I thought was good. We take 12 episodes to filter out that the main character was an assassin kinda guy who hates his assassin life and they guy who trained him to be an assassin kinda guy. In the final episode (a cliff hanger after a weak season) they team up jump on a helicopter together to go get a book. In my version, the helicopter exploded killing them both. In season 2 (of my version) the two remaining people of the main cast keep their Odd Couple dynamic going while trying to fill the shoes of their previous boss.
Burn Notice [I W]: Super spy gets burned (loses his job). Super spy does odd jobs helping people for his family and friends while trying to figure why he was burned. Super spy finds out he was burned so he would have to work for people who burned him. Super spy gets out from under people who burned him...but is still burnt. Super spy helps people who burned him catch really bad guy. Super spy accidentally gets another spy burned helping the people who burned him. Super spy teams up with burned spy number 2 (who doesn't know how he was burned) working for the people who caused both of them to get burned...I stopped watching here. In my version, spy number 2 finds out super spy burned him, shoots him. Super spy's two remaining people of the cast kill spy 2...keep their Odd Couple dynamic going while trying to fill the shoes of their previous boss.
I had more than 4 before I started typing, but I think you get the point.
